When Winter Comes Without a Star
by Lady of the Dog Star
Summary: The story of the last days of Arwen Undomiel, as she reflects upon the choice she has made. Completed.
1. Chapter One: Nightfall

**Athour's Note:** This is my first ever story on this website. I'm sorry for any mistakes with formating, I am trying to get this all worked out. If you have any questions/comments please feel free to e-mail me or leave it in a review. Please do review, I need constructive critisism, no flames, they have no use. If you hate it tell me what you didn't like and how I can improve it. Thanks...

"You will linger on in darkness and in doubt as nightfall in winter that comes without a star" --Elrond, TT  
  
CHAPTER ONE

I do not know how for how long I stood there in silence. All the implications of mortality had finally caught me and my very being rebelled against all thoughts of my own and what it might mean.

"My Lady?" The healer's voice was gentle as she softly touched my shoulder. My mind slammed back into my body with a feeling such as two oliphaunts running into each other at their highest speed. I became aware of everything as though my senses had been elevated to their highest level. I slowly became aware of a quiet tear making its way down my face. Why has he done this to me? My heart cried out in anguish. Could he not see what this would do to me? I silently turned and I walked out of the chamber.

Alone in the city I despaired. It seemed that all life, all joy had gone out of this place with Aragorn. The city walls confined me, and I felt as though I were chained; kept in a cage of cold stone. I took my leave of Eldarion and my daughters Celebarien, and Ithilaelin and I fled the city that would be my tomb as it was the tomb of my husband. My horse ran, covering much ground in that one day for he was of the Mearas, a gift from Rohan to the king. As much space as I could I put between myself and that city, but a horse cannot run forever. Eventually I stopped my horse and in the quiet dark of the stars and I let myself stray though my memories...

"Push my lady, push". I felt Ioreth's experienced hands on my swollen stomach. Sweat beaded on my forehead; my mother had told no lie when she said that Elven labour was just as hard as that of humans. All women must suffer the same burden of childbirth. A rough hand took mine and a cool damp cloth wiped my forehead. Aragorn's expression was one of pain and wonder. I had no time to respond, however, before the next contractions gripped my body.

"Push, lady, I can see the head. You must push!" Ioreth's voice was commanding. I gave everything that I had and I could hear Aragorn softly murmuring my name. One racking pain later and I felt the baby slither out between my legs. Ioreth gently picked it up, wiped it off and gave it to me, all without uttering a word, which was quite uncharacteristic. She simply smiled as she handed me my baby and left the room. I stared down into my son's beautiful face and was distantly aware of Aragorn's hand on my shoulder. The three of us stayed there in silence for a time until Aragorn broke it.

"Many battles have I fought in and many men have I seen slain. I have gone knowingly and willingly into danger, but never have I sat by, helpless as I was today, while one whom I love most suffered. I do wish that there had been something that I could have done to ease your pain."

"Ah, but there is naught for you to ease. What pain there was once is now but a distant memory. Your very presence was worth more to me than anything else you could have done. It is a woman's burden, childbirth, and I would have it no other way. Can you not say it was well worth it?" I asked, lifting my eyes from my son to my husband.

"Aye, that it is", Aragorn sighed, looking upon our baby with wonder and love. "What do you wish to name him now that he has arrived?"

"Eldarion I would name him, for he is of the stars."

"Eldarion I love and agree with. So shall it be. Tis a wondrous sight, that of one's firstborn." My eyes showed that I also shared that feeling. As we sat there in peaceful silence, Eldarion fell into a quiet sleep, nestled in my arms. And at that moment, with Aragorn lying beside me and our son held in my arms, I knew that this was the happiest that I had ever been.  
  
....Rain brought me back to my present situation all too completely. Shivering slightly, I retreated under the canopy of the forest, where I huddled under a tree with nothing to ease my pain.


	2. Chapter Two: Doubt

**Author's Note:** This chapters is a bit longer than the last one, my imagination was functioning much better. I'm sorry that I'm butchering the characters so much. Please send me any suggestions/comments/constructive criticism that you might have. Also, if I spell anything wrong, TELL ME. I am horrible at it, and if you don't let me know, then I can't fix it. Please review; you have no idea how much initiative it gives me. Come on, you know you want to...  
  
Rosin Dubh: Thank you so much for reviewing my story! I was starting to think that no one was reading it. I will change the spelling as soon as I figure out how; I'm pretty new at this. Don't worry, you aren't being a PITA, I just have horrible spelling!  
  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything at all; I am only using the characters. I forgot to put one of these in the last chapter; I don't own any of that either.  
  
"I fear that to Arwen the Doom of Men may seen hard at the ending" -- Elrond (III, 342)  
  
CHAPTER TWO  
  
Aragorn had worried about me; I knew this. Once we had stood upon Cerin Amroth and forsaken both the shadow and the twilight a burden had settled upon his heart, though he loved me no less. I did my best to ease it for at that time I still believed that I had made the right choice. If only I still held to that conviction...  
  
Every few years Aragorn rides through out his kingdom; Dol Amroth, Rohan, Harad, and other such places. When Eldarion was about one year old we decided that the journey would be too much for him to make and I was loath to leave my son behind. It was decided then, that Eldarion and I would stay behind while Aragorn and other men of his house traveled. Éowyn of Rohan, wife of the Steward, with whom I was rapidly becoming friends, offered that I might stay with her and her son Elboron in Ithilien, for Faramir was to ride with Aragorn. I readily agreed to this alternative.  
  
"Lady Arwen?" Éowyn's lovely face appeared at my door.  
  
"Please, do not 'Lady' me. My name is Arwen as you very well know." A hint of laughter crept into my voice.  
  
"Arwen." Éowyn smiled. "May I help you make ready your things?"  
  
"Gladly would I welcome your assistance, but I am nearly finished. All that is left are some of Eldarion's clothes", I said, putting the said articles into a large trunk that lay open by my door. I then closed it and walked over to the cradle where Eldarion was waking from his short afternoon nap. I picked the child up and quickly changed him into warmer clothing.  
  
"Are you ready love?" Aragorn appeared in the doorframe to our bedroom. "Is this what you are taking? I'll load it into the cart for you." He gestured to the trunk on the floor. "Aye that is what I am taking. Éowyn and I are going to ride, so we have elected that you may drive the cart and take Eldarion." My son looked up at the sound of his name.  
  
"I will meet you there, then." My husband amiably hefted my truck onto its wheels and disappeared out the door. I took Éowyn's hand and we ran to the stables. I needed no tack, for elves always ride bareback and Éowyn needed only a bridle as she had grown up on a horse. In a few minutes we had mounted an let our horses trot under the brilliant blue sky. As they warmed up we let them move into a rocking canter that soon became a gallop. I glanced at Éowyn, and as always was impressed with how well she rode. Crouched forward and holding the reins only lightly she interfered not a bit with her horse's movement; she had become a part of it. Her golden hair had abandoned its braid and streamed freely behind her. She caught my eye and grinned, which I could not help but to reciprocate.  
  
"We should let then trot again, I do not want them over tired," she called over the wind, speaking about the horses. "We will be there in about half an hour." We coaxed our horses into a trot and continued. Half an hour later they slowed to a walk and turned onto a narrow but well worn path. In but a few minutes we stood outside Éowyn and Faramir's small cottage. It was set to the side of a large clearing, with the stables at the opposite end. A fence line started in the clearing and disappeared into the forest, where several horses stood grazing in the shade.  
  
We dismounted and cared for our animals, putting them out to pasture. We then went inside to wait for Aragorn. Faramir was there, sitting in their kitchen eating an apple out of a bowl. Éowyn and I each took one and sat down to talk. An hour later Aragorn walked in holding Eldarion and dragging my truck, which he set down inside the doorway.  
  
"Good afternoon, Elessar", I said. "What ever took you so long?"  
  
"I had precious luggage with me and I did not want to harm it." Aragorn looked a bit sheepish. "I did not dare move the horse out of a walk."  
  
I laughed at him gently, a laugh full of love I could not find words for. "You are a wonderful father, my husband. Eldarion is fortunate indeed to have you caring for him."  
  
"Not nearly as fortunate as he is to have you as a mother. Or I to have you for a wife."  
  
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Éowyn give Faramir a look that plainly said: Shall we leave them to be soft or shall we make jest? Sure enough, a few seconds later Faramir started.  
  
"Shall we leave you too lovebirds to your pecking or can we not trust you together?"  
  
Aragorn gave an exaggerated sigh. "Can we trust you two to go off by yourselves to leave us alone?"  
  
The answer was obvious, and with that the four of us went back outside to sit in the grass and spend as much time together as we could before the next morning when they would leave.  
  
...Why do these memories surface as though mocking me; showing me times when I was surrounded by those whom I love when now I have only my horse for company? Why do they return to haunt my mind?, my heart screamed in agony. It seemed that as soon as I stopped riding for the day it let my memories catch me. Lying down, I gave up my tears and wept. 


	3. Chapter Three: To Love

**Author's Note:** This is my favourite chapter so far that I have written, so I hope you all like it. Thanks to my reviewers, I think that I've made this one a bit clearer with the memories, let me know. It will begin with a memory, still at Éowyn and Faramir's house. Let me know about any typos and if I ever figure out how to edit these chapters I will fix them.  
  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. (Does that make me a communist?) At least I don't own anything having to do with Lord of the Rings. Don't sue.  
  
"I looked into your future and I saw Death" --Elrond ROTK  
  
CHAPTER THREE  
  
That night, the night before both Aragorn and Faramir were to leave was one of those that made me eternally grateful to be given a chance at mortality. We had all sat in the sitting room after supper and after Elboron and Eldarion were put to bed. The room radiated with love and I was glad to be a part of it. I was also glad for the two children slumbering in the corner, for they would grow up in such an environment. After a while the conversation diminished and we retreated to our respective rooms; Éowyn had prepared the guest bedroom for Aragorn and me although we would be sharing a room once the men were gone.  
  
His touch meant so much more to me now that I would be without it for a time. I melted into his kiss as he took me in his arms, drawing me close. I had never felt such love before in my life until I was wed, and I was lost in the depth of his.  
  
Afterwards I lay in his arms and we talked of the future, our future together as we had done so many times before. We both wished for another child and I lay my hand on my stomach, silently praying to Eru that he had that night planted in my womb that seed which would give us another beautiful baby.  
  
It was one of those moments in which time seems to pause its great wheel and eternity is meaningless. That night, in the house of a friend filled with love and lying in the caring arms of my husband I felt as though come what may, when time began again its great spin, this moment at least, had lasted a lifetime. Or perhaps it was simply a second, which would be lost again later. At that time I did not know.  
  
The next morning Aragorn and Faramir left and Éowyn's and my mood were melancholy for the remainder of the day. Eldarion and Elboron got along quietly, playing some sort of game with large smooth rocks. It was a grey, cloudy day, one that seemed to reflect my state of mind, but by twilight the clouds were beginning to break and a waxing moon showed its glowing face among the stars that I knew so well. Eärendil, father of Elrond, shining with his captured Simaril, Varda; maker of the stars with the light of Ilúvatar on her face, and others which I had grown up under. All of the sadness dissipated out of me; I had always felt comfortable under the stars; I was their namesake and I had spent much of my life underneath them, learning their history. Éowyn caught my slight sigh and moved closer, taking my hand.  
  
"Pray tell what ails your mind, my friend." She lifted her grey eyes to my blue. "Is there nothing that I can do?"  
  
"Nay Éowyn, there is naught you can do. I look at these stars and I miss my father. When last I saw him it was a bitter parting indeed."  
  
"I am sorry. If it may help, I would tell you that I too still miss my uncle. What thought consoles me is that I will see him in the halls of my fathers when it is my time to pass."  
  
I can hold no such thought. Elrond will have passed on to Eressëa, to Elvenhome past the seas, to shores that I will never see. No boat can carry me forth from this land, such is the nature of the choice I made, to bund my heart to this earth. I will not see him again, for he will not die and I will." A sudden chill passed through me as I caught a glimpse of what my future held.  
  
"I have no words to ease your grief, Arwen, but perhaps there are none at all, even that the Elf-Lords may think of. Mayhap this is a time when words have no meaning." She finished softly, squeezing my hand. I said nothing, only squeezed back as we stood together, shoulder to shoulder, (she was near my height, so tall was she) under the loving moonlight. A light wind lifted up our hair, binding it together, the black against the gold. I felt Éowyn's eyes upon my face and I broke my silence.  
  
"The burden on my heart has lessened a bit with your words, melda. We should return and check on the children."  
  
"Aye, but with all hope they are still sleeping."  
  
"We can hope," I said and with that we turned and retreated inside.

A month and a half later I anxiously awaited Aragorn's return. Eruhantale, I was pregnant.  
  
............................................................................................................  
  
What within me was demanding that I let go of my control and let these memories inundate me? It was still too early, too painful to remember those who I had loved and lost. Never had I felt more loved than at that cottage, the quiet retreat for Éowyn and the Steward. Would a time ever come when I would be able to let go? Would there be a time that I could forgive myself for the choice that I had made and come to accept it? I did not know.


	4. Chapter Four: Winter

**Author's Note:** Sorry that this chapter is so short; I needed something to tie it together- the memories and where she is going. The next one will be longer, I promise. Thanks to my reviewers you are all wonderful. Hugs all around.  
  
Roisin Dubh: Yes, I am getting more review, thank you all. It is supposed to be 'binding', not 'bunding' and in the other chapter it's 'seem' not 'seen'. I don't think that this chapter has any typos, but I probably just jinxed myself.  
  
Nephthys5: Yay, a new review, thanks for saying that I'm not butchering them, because I'm trying to keep them as close to Tolkien as possible. Unfortunately we can't all be that good. I like to think that they would be very good friends, they both are new to Gondorian society and pretty much the two most important women in the city.  
  
Eladriewen: Am continuing. Thank you, and let me thank you again for all your wonderful help.  
  
Kerrie: Thank you so much! I'm glad my story plays on your emotions like that, that's the effect that I want it to have on you, and it's nice to hear that it does. I was thinking about doing an Eowyn/Faramir thing when "Winter" is done, but I have so many ideas that I don't know what I'll do first.  
  
**Disclaimer:** What would everyone do if I said that I actually owned this? :watches as lawyers gather up their briefcases and prepare lawsuits: Okay, I was only kidding, I confess, I actually don't own any of this.  
  
"They had passed away and the land was silent." --(III. 344)

CHAPTER FOUR  
  
I rose as the sun showed itself over the dust plains. In the distance I could see the dark line of trees spread across the horizon. I mounted my horse and began the day's ride in that direction. Until now I had been wandering about Gondor and Rohan. I had camped by Fangorn but two nights past. But now my journey had a purpose, even if my life seemingly did not.  
  
I called my horse; he had been free roaming on the plains of Rohan for he would not venture far. In only a few seconds I glimpsed him cantering towards me on feet light as clouds. Here came my one friend left in the world, so it seemed.  
  
Riding lifted my depression somewhat; it always had a positive effect on whatever I was feeling. Feeling the sweet morning's wind on my face as my horse trotted under a sky of brilliant blue helped as much as anything would, although even that could not cure my weeping spirit. Mayhap nothing ever could, but I felt that if anything, the remedy would be found in the land of my mother and grandmother. It was there that I headed.  
  
After nearly two weeks riding I had almost reached my destination. The trees surrounding Caras Galadhon were eerily silent. How many times had I journeyed here to stay with my mother's mother in her Golden Wood? Laurelindórenan, Land of the Valley of Singing Gold, later renamed Lothlórien, the Dreamflower as the tide of the Elves ebbed. It had no name now, poor forest, abandoned by those who loved it and forgotten by those who feared it. It was here that I met Aragorn as the king that he was and fell in love with him under these very trees. I dismounted and walked through the silent mallorns in the dead of their winter as I was in mine. At last I came upon that which I sought. Standing upon Cerin Amroth I could see neither the twilight or the Shadow that I had forsaken, but only my darkness; for it was nightfall and I could see no star.


	5. Chapter Five: Twilight

**Author's Note:** Sorry about the last chapter, it really is too short and I think that when I am finished with this story I may go back and add more to it, but as of now I'm moving forward, and this chapter will be longer. (Dialogue is in part from 'The Tale of Aragorn and Arwen' in the appendices of the third book, however only a few lines are from this. It shouldn't be hard to tell the difference.) As always, keep the reviews coming and any suggestions/comments whatever can be e-mailed to me. Enjoy! :D  
  
**Disclaimer:** Three words: I own nothing.  
  
"The light of her eyes was quenched and it seemed to her people that she had become cold and grey." (III. 344)  
  
CHAPTER FIVE  
  
Being here, in this country where I dwelt for so many years in peace comforts me as of now; as much as it can. There lie within this soil memories, and I remember when Aragorn and I met, and I fell in love with him. We had met some years previous to that in the gardens of my father, in Rivendell. Then he was but a boy of twenty, recently told of his great heritage and I smiled to think that he worshipped me. He seemed but a young sapling and I was an ancient mallorn, thousands of years old. He spoke with my father, and it was then foreseen that this was to be my doom as it was that of Lúthien in ages past. At that moment, however, I merely laughed at his youthful love, thinking that it would dissipate with time and he would soon forget about me and find a human woman to set his sights on. How wrong was I and how careless that I could laugh away his love for me as though it was nothing.  
  
It was underneath these trees that, when Aragorn was forty-nine years old, he rested from the trials that he had undertaken during the previous years. Galadriel had clothed him in silver and white; elven clothing so that when I laid my eyes upon him I though him to be an elf-lord rather than a man. He had picked the flower elanor for me and his arms were full of it as he walked toward me under those ancient trees. It was at this moment when I knew that the love of this man could no longer be laughed off, and neither could mine for him. The stroke had fallen and my doom was set in place. I could not turn from it.  
  
"My Lady Arwen." Aragorn bowed and a faint blush settled over his weather beaten face. "Thy years have yet to change thee and you are as lovely as you were when first I lay my eyes upon you."  
  
"The passing of time does little to my kind, Aragorn, lest it saddens us, for each moment passed is one closer to the time when we must forsake our beloved forests and these shores and sail west."  
  
"The years do seem to have quelled your laughter and I think it grievous not to hear it, if I may be as bold to say so." He appeared very uncertain as to how to speak with me and took it upon myself to ease his discomfort.  
  
"Say what it is that is on your mind, for I know that these years hath made me grave. I feel that the evil long kept silent is stirring and that the time of my people here is ending. I do not know yet if I shall be accompanying my father on this final voyage."  
  
"You have bid me to speak and that I shall. I will say that until I saw thee I did not know beauty and since my travels I still must say that you are the fairest of all living things. I say also that I love thee, as I am certain you know, and I beg you not to laugh at me for it." With this he bowed his head and my heart filled with tenderness. Lifting his chin with my hand I said to him:  
  
"Estel as you were called of old, I do not laugh in the face of thy love. These years have given thee wisdom and courage and depth. While once perhaps you were childlike in your emotions, you are no longer. Let us walk for a spell and not discuss the shadow which has fallen on this land. Tonight let us know happiness and comfort in each other's presence. Will you honour me with thy company?" My eyes searched his face for an answer.  
  
"Aye, that I shall bit I feel that it is my honour to be in such company that you give me. I fear that I am not worthy of it."  
  
"Fear not. We shall each honour the other with our friendship and let us leave it at that." Long that season did we walk amongst the trees, talking of many subjects save the one that was perhaps the most important. And I fell more deeply in love with this man of the line of kings and it is my belief that in those days he also let go the last of his early worship and began to truly love me as an equal, until at last we found ourselves standing in the heart of that forest kingdom; where I rest as of now, the hill of Cerin Amroth. It was there that our love was proclaimed in words plain for all to hear.  
  
"These days have brought light to my heart when it was beginning to quail. Yes, dark does waken, but it will not conquer. Dark is the Shadow, and yet my heart rejoices; for you, Estel, shall be among those whose valour will destroy it."  
  
"These days too have brought light and happiness into my shadowed mind, for in your company have I found the true meaning of love. But what you say of the Shadow, Alas! I cannot foresee it, and how it may come to pass is hidden from me. Yet with your hope I will hope. And the Shadow I utterly reject. But neither, lady, is the Twilight for me; for I am mortal, and if you will cleave to me, Evenstar, then the twilight you must also renounce."  
  
I stood there still, as though frost had come and frozen me. What of my father and of my people? What of my beloved mother waiting across the sea to see me once more? Could I renounce my immortality, my people and my peace for this man? Long were my days amongst the Elves and would I forsake them for one man? I looked to the west, then looked to his grey eyes and I knew the answer. "I will cleave to you, Dúnadan, and turn from the Twilight. Yet there lies the land of my people and the long home of all my kin. Dearly do I love he who is my father, and I am loath to leave him, but my heart tells me that I love you, and for that love I do choose a mortal life." A single tear fell from my cheek, for though my heart rejoiced to have found love it also broke to leave my father.  
  
"My lady, Arwen, vanimelda, I love you and I too am loath to force you to diminish your life's grace for my humble person. I do now ask of you, in all honesty, are you certain of you choice?"  
  
"That I am, but whichever path I now choose will have a bitter end. I f I leave these shores and my love for you to be naught more than memory, I will regret that choice until the end of my days. Likewise, if I leave my father and my immortality, the end will still be bitter. I am certain, Aragorn, do not doubt that. This is my choice." The bitter end. How true that was, although at that time I did not know how bitter it would be. But with my words he took me in his arms and kissed me, and there would be no escape from the fate that I now held myself to.  
  
When my father learned of my choice he wept, but he knew that by his sacrifice, by my sacrifice, the glory of men could be restored, and the line of Elendil given new splendor with the blood of the Eldar. He warned Aragorn, however, that to me at the end it would be hard indeed, though our joy and love would be great for a time.  
  
It was still many years from that Midsummer's Eve on Cerin Amroth before we were wed, again on Midsummer, at Gondor with all the magnificence befitting the marriage of a King. And it was at this time when I bid my final farewell to my father, Elrond, until at last the sea separated us forever, and I was left alone with my beloved, and my doom, which I live out now. Alas that what began in such joy should end in such sorrow, for still do I wonder if my choice was the right one, and if given a chance to rejoin my people, would I? It is not until these doubts are put to rest that I will be at peace within, and as of late I do not know if they will ever be established. I have all the time to wait, however, under these trees for many years still, for my heart still weeps. 


	6. Chapter Six: Peace

**Author's Note:** Here it is, the last chapter of my first story here. Thanks to all who reviewed; you guys are great, and thanks to all future reviewers. As always, let me know what you think. Enjoy. (You may also note that I did add more to Chapter 4. It's still short but not as much as it was.)  
  
**Disclaimer:** Nothing is mine, needless to say.  
  
"And to that choice I hold. I would rather share one lifetime with you than live all the ages of this world alone." --Arwen (Fellowship)

CHAPTER SIX  
  
I touched my cheek. It was wet, for many tears were winding their way down my face. I was cold, icy except for a single question that still burned in my mind. Had I made the right choice, staying here on Middle Earth? Would I be happier in Valinor with the rest of my kin? My head cried for answers as my heart cried with grief. It had been nearly a season since Aragorn had left me here. When I reached these woods they were immersed in winter, which still reigned, but my eyes could see the slight changes that only the earliest approaches of spring could bring. And what would that spring bring for me? I did not know of yet.  
  
Stroking my horse's sweet face, I then let him go; he wanted to return to his companions, not linger in this dying forest, however great his love for me was. Horses are creatures who love company and I had wrenched him from his own familiar sort. He gave me a gentle push as if to convey his sorrow at what I felt, but that did not overpower his instinct. I watched from the hill as his light feet raced through the trees until I could no longer hear them fall. I now was truly alone.  
  
As sudden as a swift thunderstorm I fell into Seeing. I saw myself as though trough blurred glass, soft around the edges. I sat on a rock overlooking the ocean and sang a sad song; one of remorse and regret. I felt as Amroth must have when he hurled himself into the sea, unable to allow his ship to take him from his love. And as tears streamed down my face now, so did they in my vision. Perhaps even more bitter for not having loved and been loved. I saw myself rising and leaping from the rock, hurling myself into the roaring sea. My body lay crushed on the unforgiving jagged rocks below, rising and falling with each new swell. And there my Sight ended. If it was true I would never know.  
  
I sat on the hill, on top of several mallorn leaves, hugging my knees to my chest and letting my tears soak into the plain dark green fabric of my dress. How long I sat there I do not know, but when I came from my stupor it was night. A pale gold crescent moon was low in the sky. It was nearly the dark of the moon I realised with a touch of irony. How many ways does all of nature find to mock me.  
  
But as I sat there I felt that the moon was quietly telling me something that I had refused to see until this point. I had a choice even now: to close my eyes and heart from this significance or to open both and embrace it. And as I let my mind open it came through as clear as the singing of the Elves on a clear summer night in the meadows of my home. All things have a beginning, and all things have a middle, and all things must eventually come to an end. How it begins is not for our choosing but the middle, and even to a certain extent, the end, are ours to do with as we please. Aragorn chose his end; he decided to die with grace and dignity. Would I?  
  
It was in this moment that I came to know why my old memories had been plaguing me so much. They also were trying to tell me something, which I had closed myself to in my desperate grief. Would I truly give up my life with Aragorn to nothing but memory? Would I turn back the spinning of time and have it all come to nothing and leave for Valinor without ever knowing love? And at last I knew the answer. I would not. I no longer would feel bitter, or angry with myself or Aragorn. This was my choice and I had to live and die by it. Whatever was now at the end, the middle had been more wondrous than I could ever have had imagined. I found love of such remarkable and breathtaking nature; the love of friends such as Faramir and Éowyn, the love of my husband, and the unconditional love of my children. Even though many of those whom I loved had passed beyond this world, I still carried their love within myself. No, I could not regret my decision, not for anything.  
  
With this acceptance came calm, complete and absolute. I became aware suddenly of great exhaustion. I lay down on Cerin Amroth and gave in to the welcoming darkness. As my eyes shut, they fell upon a single golden blossom of elanor under a shining silver star.  
  
............................................................................................................  
  
Arwen lay on the hill, her dark hair fanned about her in the soft grass. A lone mallorn leaf drifted slowly down from its tree and rested on her breast, which rose no more. And so concluded the life of the Evenstar.


End file.
